Scary 😳

Vulnerable 𝒱𝒶𝓃𝒾𝓈𝒽𝒶

Vulnerability is a lengthy read. Thank you for reading. Thank you for allowing me.

Repair and hope begins with humility. Please bear with me as I stand upon this rock. I wouldn’t be honest if I don’t share, “I am terrified of vulnerability”
Yet here it is.

17 years ago I buried my whole family. 13 people including my husband .
All this loss in one year, six months, and 17 days. I lived in the shadow of this tragedy for 16 of those years.

I had disassociated so successfully,
I see know was the only protection I had from not falling apart completely.
I became both narcissistic and convoluted in my intellectual ability to sustain some type of power, when truly I had lost it all. I had discovered that my family passed away and I was left here to die.

I have two daughters, one of which I’ve always been very close to.
She has always seen me, known that through this tragedy that she couldn’t imagine what it was doing to me.
This unfortunately put a lot of responsibility upon her, assisting my journey and purpose, as she always believed it was greater than I was able to even imagine. You can imagine how much stress is put on her!

Seven months ago, on my estranged oldest daughter‘s birthday, I had overstepped my boundaries with her her parenting and my granddaughter. She told me I needed to stay in my lane, and my lane is where I went, leaving her on her birthday at an intended sleepover to celebrate.

It was at that point both of my daughters decided that they couldn’t take it anymore.

I have been very grateful to have been discovered by a guru who has taken me under his wings. For the past 6 months I have traveled. Visiting different Hindu Temples, learning and studying under monks, and high priests.
I’ve been cleansed, had dozens of pujas and found a freedom
I was beginning to believe was unattainable.

Regret is a rough space.
Regret has also been the most rewarding in the sight of humble humility. I have a very special bond with my granddaughter {I’ve not seen for 6 months} one I have learned I also very much want to have with my beautiful 25 year old daughter.

What I’ve learned, is seeking the truth is all I have. Self preservation and the recognition for what I’ve done to be why our relationship has unraveled.

I know that missing them is selfish as my daughter needs the room to be in a space where she feels ok. Safe enough to allow me inside. I have more hope, having learned, this is just was what needed to happen to allow both of us the space for recognition. Allowing the 2 of us to thrive within a deeper understanding that will lead us into gaining a love, for who each of us are, independently also who we can be together.

I don’t necessarily want to be needed. I desire to be her choice that leads her to want me. Wanted by being more pure of heart.
Allowing her to express herself without my convoluted opinion.

My younger daughter {22} however,
has been traveling with me for 4 of those 6 months and seen curses lifted and the freedom of my Being unfold.

For this I am humbled everyday in her presence. Aware of seeking how to navigate for the most rewarding path needed to sew the seed needed to continue becoming as well as Being
“A Mom”

Providing what she needs and how to be this Being that silently shines a light upon her unfolding.
Allowing her the freedom to be exactly who she is and discover she is safe in my presence.

For this today I am most Grateful.

Seeking to reach my oldest daughter through positivity and having become an overwhelming flow of pure love.

Thank you for reading. For allowing me to be here!
Namasakram my friends
💕

Consciousness

“How are you Being today my friends?”

“Being Consciousness

Continuum – Continually Conscious

Thus continuing the challenge of continually “Being” Conscious

– Namasakram

The Consequence of Uni’Verse’All Enlightenment 🙏🏼 ​

The Consequence of Uni’Verse’All Enlightenment 🙏🏼

Namasakram
Uni’Verse’City brings Uni’Verse’All Peace & Enlightenment 🙏🏼

The Powerful, Everlasting, Goddess Kali 🩸

Kali, the true Kali, will continue to defy all attempts to tame and domesticate her, as she has since the beginning of time.

Completing Goddess Kali Pt.3

The Thuggee are said to have had their female equivalent in a sect of Tantrists who held that it was through constant indulgence in gluttony of the senses and the five recognised vices 
– drinking of wine, eating of meat and fish, performance of “mystical gesticulations” and sexual indulgence - that a human could achieve purification of the soul and all-embracing union with Kali. It is difficult to discover any concrete information about this group of women – their name, the extent to which they practiced in India, whether they were associated with the Thuggee cult, and whether they died out or continue to exist within the many Tantric sects extant today.
Their ethos has similarities to that of the male Aghori monks of Varanasi who inhabit cemeteries and sometimes eat human flesh as part of their rituals, use marijuana and alcohol, and meditate on top of corpses to help them reach a state of heightened awareness and bring themselves closer to Shiva, Kali’s consort.
Here Kali is shown in her post 17th century, rehabilitated form: beautiful of face and body, blue skinned rather than black, her right foot forward to indicate the correct spiritual path, with her right hands displaying the gestures of fearlessness and blessing and her left holding the sword and severed head. lIllustration from Myths of the Hindus & Buddhists, 1914. Author Surendra Nath Khar.
In part because of her dread characteristics and habit of acting unpredictably, at least to those who tried to control her, devotion came late in the game to Kali 
– even devout Hindus were wary of her wrath. However in the seventeenth century Kali received a makeover from the Tantric Bengali poets in northwest India. No longer a terrifying red-eyed crone, she began to be depicted as voluptuous, motherly, young and beautiful, with a gentle smile, attractive ornaments and pleasing blue complexion. While she continued to brandish weaponry and severed heads, two of her right hands now made soothing gestures - the mudras of fearlessness and blessing.

Today, her image reflects her duality. Kali is depicted in the act of killing but smiles engagingly. Her protruding red tongue signals both modesty (a Bengali tradition) and her thirst for blood. Her dishevelled hair hints at unrestrained blood lust and alternatively the metaphysical mystery of death that encircles life. Her three eyes represent omniscience, her voluptuous breasts both sexual lust and nurturance. Her nakedness simultaneously represents carnality and purity. Her necklace of severed heads and girdle of severed arms signifies her killing rage but are also tantric metaphors for creative power and severance from the bonds of karma and accumulated deeds. Even her stance is imbued with dual meaning. The respectable, right handed path of Tantra (Dakshinamarga) is emphasised by her right foot forward stance, while the infamous left-handed path (Vamamarga) followed by “degenerate” Tantric practitioners such as the Aghori is down-played. While her right hands are generally associated with positive gestures, her left hands hold weaponry – depending on the number of arms she is portrayed as having, a bloodied sword or trident, a freshly severed head and a skull cup to catch the blood. However, even these are symbols of greater purpose. The sword symbolises higher knowledge, the head the human ego that must be severed in order to exit from the cycle of life and rebirth.

In the 20th and 21st centuries, many western feminist scholars have adopted Kali as a mascot of female empowerment, or have politicised her as a symbol of the supposed former matriarchal golden age that came before our present state of patriarchal control and decline. New Age Tantric practitioners adapt her obvious sexual manifestations as a therapeutic tool, while Hollywood employs her as a convenient symbol of malevolence.

But Kali, the true Kali, will continue to defy all attempts to tame and domesticate her, as she has since the beginning of time.
Kali can be depicted in various aspects, both as a terrible force for violence and retribution, and as a loving protective chaste figure. Photo credit: Kashgar
Kali's mantra:

Oṃ jayantī mangala kālī bhadrakālī kapālinī.
Durgā ksamā śivā dhātrī svāhā svadhā namō'stu‍tē

The Evolutionary Goddess Kali ☄️💫🩸

Kali is considered to stand, outside of the constraints of space-time and have no permanent qualities; she existed before the universe was created and will continue to exist after the universe ends. Limitations of the physical world such as colour, light, good and bad do not apply to Kali.

Awe Inspiring, Protective Qualities of Goddess Kali Pt.2

In her earliest appearances, Kali was frequently associated with violent endeavours on the battlefields of the gods. 

In one legendary battle with the demon Raktabija, Kali is manifested by Durga to deal with a situation that has gotten badly out of hand. Every drop of blood spilled by the wounded Raktabija becomes a deadly fighting clone, but Kali turns the battle around and defeats Raktabija by draining his blood before it touches the ground, then devours his replicates. In this story Kali is brought in to play when decisive action is required, when dark deeds must be matched with dark deeds, when resolve must be shown.


- Attributes not always associated in the west with the archetypal Woman. In another story, Kali is summoned by a group of criminals who decide to sacrifice a human to her image in order to gain her favour.
They unwisely choose a young Brahmin monk of upstanding character, however his saintliness shines so brightly that her statue is scorched in his presence. Kali manifests but proceeds to horribly kill her erstwhile worshipers by decapitating them and drinking their blood.
Here, Kali demonstrates her refusal to be controlled by those who think they understand her and her triumph over the attributes of ignorance and evil, as well as the absolute impartiality of her nature.

While Kali was well integrated into the Vedic, or orthodox, Hindu tradition from the first, she also developed a parallel relationship with Tantra. Tantric teachings are a collection of ancient magical stories and folk practices that exist alongside the Vedic tradition, and could be considered to hold to the wild tribal origins of Kali more faithfully than the Vedic.


One of the meanings of Kali’s name is

FORCE OF TIME.

In this aspect, Kali is considered to stand, outside of the constraints of space-time and have no permanent qualities; she existed before the universe was created and will continue to exist after the universe ends. Limitations of the physical world such as colour, light, good and bad do not apply to Kali.

Kali is a symbol of Mother Nature herself,
– Primordial, creative, nurturing and devouring in turn, but ultimately loving and benevolent. In this aspect of goodness she is referred to as Kali Ma, Mother Kali, or Divine Mother, and many millions of Hindus revere and worship her in this form. In Tantric meditation, Kali’s dual nature leads practitioners to simultaneously face the beauty of life and the reality of death, with the understanding that one cannot exist without the other.
It is worth noting that Shiva, in his role of destroyer of worlds, also stands outside the boundaries of the physical universe and is well complimented by his association with Kali.

Kali’s worship was not always so benign. From the 14th century to the 19th century, a cult group called the Thuggee (from the Hindu word to deceive) was operating at will in India. A hereditary sect, Thuggee membership was passed from father to son, although outsiders, particularly criminals, could be recruited if found worthy – or might end up as victim if not. During its peak, the group is believed to have had thousands of followers and during the 600 years of its operation its members are estimated to have killed anywhere between 500,000 and 2 million people. Thuggees proudly traced their origin to the battle of Kali against Raktabija, and considered themselves her children, created from her sweat. Pandering to the fiercest aspects of Kali and her requirement for death, destruction and human sacrifice, the Thuggee believed that they were doing Kali’s sacred work (although it should be noted that they had no hesitation in also robbing their victims).

The British finally wiped out the Thuggees in the mid 19th century, and the cult of religious stranglers ceased to exist except in myth and folklore.
A groups of Thuggees strangling a traveller on a highway in India in the early 19th century. One member of the group is gripping the traveller’s feet, another his hands, while a third member is tightening the ligature around his neck. Anonymous Indian artist. Made for Capt. James Paton, Assistant to the British Resident at Lucknow, 1829-1840.

Understanding, Goddess Kali ⚔️📿🩸

In the eyes of westerners, Kali is a Goddess dark of mind, body and soul, a mysterious Goddess of death and destruction. However her story is far more complex and far-reaching; 
She cannot be easily fitted into a typical western narrative of good verses evil, and in fact transcends both.

Goddess Kali Pt. 1

Hello my lovely friends 🙏🏼 

I will be sharing with you over the course of a few months an in depth look into understanding Hinduism 🕉.

We will travel into the visionary aspects as well as the gifted practices, beholding our Hindu Gods and Goddess.

NOT TO BE ALARMED!!

Kali is a source of many things so, read carefully and resourcefully as to receive understanding clearly and objectively. She is quite the Goddess to say the least!

I hope you enjoy.
Also, if you have any questions, or would like to simply engage, please do! I look forward to connecting with you. Honestly, I desire this very much ! So please, don’t hesitate to say hello, introduce yourself or anything at all. I’m here with hope to bring us together in real time.

Truly, honorably, and sincerely,
Your,
Bella Uni’Verse 🌏
Continue reading “Understanding, Goddess Kali ⚔️📿🩸”

The Gratitude of Gifts Given 📖

Lakshmi is the divine power that transforms dreams into reality. She is prakriti, the perfect creation: self-sustaining, self-contained Nature. She is maya, the delightful delusion, the dream-like expression of divinity that makes life comprehensible, hence worth living. She is shakti, energy, boundless and bountiful.

- Shri Vaishnava Tradition Pt.5
In the twelfth century AD, 
a new form of Vaishnavism called
Shri-Vaishnavism evolved in South India. Like other Vaishnava orders, it visualised Vishnu as the embodiment of the supreme divine principle. However, this order was unique as it refused to acknowledge Vishnu independently. It insisted on the presence of Lakshmi beside him.

For Shri-Vaishnava scholars, such as Vedanta Deshika, Lakshmi is indispensable while approaching Vishnu. He represents righteousness; she represents compassion. She is like a mother intervening between a stern father (God) and an errant son (the devotee).

Maha-Lakshmi, the Great Goddess
Maha-Lakshmi, the Tantrik form of Lakshmi, is less the goddess of wealth and more the supreme mother-goddess; painting from Orissa.
In Tantrik texts, which were composed around the same time as the Puranas, Lakshmi acquired supreme importance. She was Maha-Lakshmi, the Supreme Goddess.

Lakshmi is often differentiated from Maha-Lakshmi. While the former is the consort of Vishnu and the Goddess of wealth, Maha-Lakshmi is viewed as an autonomous entity, the supreme embodiment of the Mother-Goddess. When worshipped as Maha-Lakshmi, Lakshmi is not visualised as a beautiful goddess seated on a lotus, pot in hand, but like a Virginal Warrior-Goddess riding a lion, much like Durga. This form of the Goddess is especially popular in Maharashtra.

Ancient Pancharatra texts that adore Maha-Lakshmi consider her to be the root of all creation. In the beginning, they say,

the cosmic soul—the unfathomable unmanifest Narayana—desired to create the cosmos. But he did not have the resources to do so. As he pondered over this problem, his dormant energy, his shakti, burst forth in a blinding light, manifesting as
Maha-Lakshmi.

Maha-Lakshmi placed the seed of divine desire in the palm of her hand and unleashed the dynamic forces of creation until the three worlds took shape and all forms of life came forth.

In the Lakshmi Tantra, the Goddess says:


I am inherent in existence.
I am the inciter, the potential that takes shape. I manifest myself.
I occupy myself with activity and finally dissolve myself.
I pervade all creations with vitality, will and consciousness. Like ghee that keeps a lamp burning, I lubricate the senses of living beings with the sap of my consciousness.”


Lakshmi is the divine power that transforms dreams into reality.

Lakshmi is prakriti, the perfect creation: self-sustaining, self-contained Nature. She is maya, the delightful delusion, the dream-like expression of divinity that makes life comprehensible, hence worth living. She is shakti, energy, boundless and bountiful.

To realise her is to rejoice in the wonders of life.
“Lakshmi seated on a lotus surrounded by white elephants (symbols of power and fertility) married couples (symbols of conjugal bliss and worldliness); Tantrik painting from Nepal.”

The Beautiful Goddess Lakshmi Continued 💕

Fickle and Independent Pt. 4
Nowadays, Hindus accept Lakshmi as the eternal consort of Vishnu, the preserver of the world. In her long history, however, the Goddess has been associated with many other deities. 

According to Ramayana, Mahabharata and Puranas, the Goddess Lakshmi first lived with the demons before the Gods acquired her. She graced Asuras such as Hiranayaksha, Hiranakashipu, Prahalad, Virochana and Bali, rakshasas such as Ravana and yakshas such as Kubera before

she adorned the court of Indra, King of Devas, the most renowned of Vedic Gods.

Cities of the asuras (Hiranyapura), yakshas (Alakapuri), rakshasas (Lanka) and nagas (Bhogavati) have all been described as cities of gold, Lakshmi’s mineral manifestation.

Within the Vedic pantheon, Lakshmi was linked with many Gods, especially those associated with water bodies: Indra, the Rain-God (bestower of fresh water); Varuna, the Sea-God (source of all water);

Soma, the Moon-God (waxer and waner of tides).
Indra’s wife Sachi was also known as Puloma, which is the name of an Asura-Woman suggesting entry of Lakshmi from the world of asuras into world of devas.

As the Vedic Gods waned into insignificance around the fifth century BC, two Gods came to

dominate the classical Hindu worldview: The world renouncing Hermit-God Shiva and the world affirming
Warrior-God Vishnu.
Lakshmi was briefly associated with Shiva before she became the faithful consort of Vishnu-Narayana, the ultimate refuge of man.
With Vishnu, she was domesticated.
No longer fleet footed, she sat demurely by his side, on his lap or at his feet.

The association with many Gods has led to Lakshmi being viewed as fickle, restless and independent. Sociologists view the mythology of Lakshmi’s fickleness as indicative of her cult’s resistance to being assimilated with mainstream Hinduism. Even today there is tension between the mythology of Lakshmi as an independent Goddess and her mythology as Vishnu’s consort.

Philosophers choose to view the fickleness and independence of Lakshmi as an allegory for the restlessness of fortune. More often than not, there are no rational explanations for fortune and misfortune. Good times come without warning and leave as suddenly.

Discovering The Powerful Goddess Lakshmi 📿

Lakshmi became a favourite of Kings as more and more people believed she was the bestower of power, wealth and sovereignty.

Namaskaram 🙏🏼

Goddess Lakshmi Pt. 3

Continue reading “Discovering The Powerful Goddess Lakshmi 📿”

– Widespread Appeal

Lakshmi provide the inhabitants of the cosmos food, clothing, shelter, and all things that make life more comfortable. 
She also offered wisdom, strength, beauty, luck, sovereignty and splendour— The good things in life.


Blessings of Appeal Pt.2

Pt. 2 of my connected bond with Goddess Lakshmi. You may also find yourself entranced by her divine powers. Receiving from her the Uni’Verse’All kiss from the comforts life spills from having that beautiful bond !
The practice of personifying the beauty and bounty of earth as a Goddess was prevalent in all ancient cultures.

The Greeks had Core, the
Corn-Goddess, who was known to
Romans as Demeter
.

The Egyptians had Isis,
Sumerians had Innana,
Babylonians had Ishtar,
Persians had Anahita and
Vikings had Freia.

Shri-Lakshmi is the Hindu form of the timeless Mother-Goddess who nurtures and nourishes all life.
In India, not only Hindus but also Buddhists and Jains adore Lakshmi. Buddhism and Jainism are primarily monastic orders that turned away from Vedic rituals and Brahmanical dogmas about 2,500 years ago.
They, however, could not abandon this delightful Goddess.

In the Buddhist Jatakas, there are tales of Men and Women who request the Goddess Lakshmi to drive away
the Goddess of misfortune, Kalakanni. Images of Kubera, the pot-bellied Yaksha-King and treasurer of the Gods, who is closely associated with Lakshmi, adorn most Buddhist shrines.

In holy Jain texts, it is said when an exalted soul like a Tirthankara is about to be born his mother dreams of many auspicious things, including the Goddess Shri. Symbols of wealth and royal power commonly associated with Lakshmi are auspicious to both Buddhists and Jains.

These include:
• the pot
• pile of gems
• a throne
• flywhisk
• conch
• a fish
• a parasol
• nagas
• yakshas
• footstool
• a horse
• an elephant
• a cow
and
• the wish-fulfilling tree.

An Ancient Goddess
Shri-Lakshmi has a long history testified by the fact that her first hymn, the Shri Shukta, was added to the Rig Veda, the oldest and most revered of Hindu scriptures, somewhere between 1000 and 500 BC.

Considering her popularity amongst Buddhists and Jains, it has been proposed that her worship may
predate the Vedic culture and may have developed independently before she was brought into the
Vedic, Buddhist and Jain folds.

Scholars are of the view that initially, the words Shri and
Lakshmi referred to anything that
was auspicious or brought good luck or bestowed riches and power.

Later the two words were personified into two Goddesses who eventually merged.
Thus, Shri-Lakshmi came into being.
Fragmentary verses in the Shatapatha Brahmana, written not long after the Vedas, talks of the birth of Lakshmi from the mouth of Prajapati to provide the inhabitants of the cosmos food, clothing, shelter, and all things that make life more comfortable.
She also offered wisdom, strength, beauty, luck, sovereignty and splendour—the good things in life.


Namaskaram 🙏🏼
Bella Uni’Verse

My luxuriating life together, with the lovely, Goddess Lakshmi 🌺

Lustrous as fire, radiant as gold,
Resplendent as the sun, calm as the moon.

For the next several days I will be sharing one my treasured and privileged bond with you.

Goddess Lakshmi Pt.1

The ancient story of 
Goddess Lakshmi
— also known as Sri;
Bestower of power, wealth and sovereignty

Draped in red saree, bedecked with gold ornaments, seated on a lotus, pot in hand, flanked by white elephants, the image of Lakshmi adorns most Hindu homes and business establishments.

Lakshmi is the Goddess of wealth, fortune, power, luxury, beauty, fertility, and auspiciousness. She holds the promise of material fulfilment and contentment.
She is described as restless, whimsical yet maternal, with her arms raised to bless and to grant.

For centuries Hindus have invoked

her thus:
Beautiful goddess seated on a chariot.
Delighted by songs on lustful elephants,
Bedecked with lotuses, pearls

and gems.

Lustrous as fire, radiant as gold,
Resplendent as the sun, calm as the moon. Mistress of cows and horses
— Take away of poverty and misfortune
Brings joy, riches, harvest and children.
Shri is the sacred sound of cosmic auspiciousness and abundance since Vedic times.
The popularity of Lakshmi can be gauged by the fact that her sacred name

Shri.

Shri is written atop most documents and spoken before addressing a God,
a teacher, a holy man or any revered individual. The word evokes amongst other things: grace, affluence, abundance, auspiciousness, and authority.

When the word is spoken or written, an aura of holiness is established. Whatever follows the word is imbued with divine blessing. Married men and women are addressed as Shriman and Shrimati as they have Lakshmi’s blessings to harness the wealth of the world to support family and sustain society. Ascetics are not addressed as Shriman as they have renounced worldly riches; unmarried men and women are not addressed as Shriman and Shrimati as they are still in preparation for the householder’s life.

Just as the word Aum is associated with the mystical side of life, the word ‘Shri’ is associated with the material side of existence.


Entry 1 : Understanding the glorious beauty and beholder;
Goddess Lakshmi;
My divine connection to her,
and her to me.

Yours truly,
Bella Uni’Verse
Namaskaram 🙏🏼
Lakshmi, the goddess of prosperity; modern calendar art.