Scary 😳

Vulnerable 𝒱𝒶𝓃𝒾𝓈𝒽𝒶

Vulnerability is a lengthy read. Thank you for reading. Thank you for allowing me.

Repair and hope begins with humility. Please bear with me as I stand upon this rock. I wouldn’t be honest if I don’t share, “I am terrified of vulnerability”
Yet here it is.

17 years ago I buried my whole family. 13 people including my husband .
All this loss in one year, six months, and 17 days. I lived in the shadow of this tragedy for 16 of those years.

I had disassociated so successfully,
I see know was the only protection I had from not falling apart completely.
I became both narcissistic and convoluted in my intellectual ability to sustain some type of power, when truly I had lost it all. I had discovered that my family passed away and I was left here to die.

I have two daughters, one of which I’ve always been very close to.
She has always seen me, known that through this tragedy that she couldn’t imagine what it was doing to me.
This unfortunately put a lot of responsibility upon her, assisting my journey and purpose, as she always believed it was greater than I was able to even imagine. You can imagine how much stress is put on her!

Seven months ago, on my estranged oldest daughter‘s birthday, I had overstepped my boundaries with her her parenting and my granddaughter. She told me I needed to stay in my lane, and my lane is where I went, leaving her on her birthday at an intended sleepover to celebrate.

It was at that point both of my daughters decided that they couldn’t take it anymore.

I have been very grateful to have been discovered by a guru who has taken me under his wings. For the past 6 months I have traveled. Visiting different Hindu Temples, learning and studying under monks, and high priests.
I’ve been cleansed, had dozens of pujas and found a freedom
I was beginning to believe was unattainable.

Regret is a rough space.
Regret has also been the most rewarding in the sight of humble humility. I have a very special bond with my granddaughter {I’ve not seen for 6 months} one I have learned I also very much want to have with my beautiful 25 year old daughter.

What I’ve learned, is seeking the truth is all I have. Self preservation and the recognition for what I’ve done to be why our relationship has unraveled.

I know that missing them is selfish as my daughter needs the room to be in a space where she feels ok. Safe enough to allow me inside. I have more hope, having learned, this is just was what needed to happen to allow both of us the space for recognition. Allowing the 2 of us to thrive within a deeper understanding that will lead us into gaining a love, for who each of us are, independently also who we can be together.

I don’t necessarily want to be needed. I desire to be her choice that leads her to want me. Wanted by being more pure of heart.
Allowing her to express herself without my convoluted opinion.

My younger daughter {22} however,
has been traveling with me for 4 of those 6 months and seen curses lifted and the freedom of my Being unfold.

For this I am humbled everyday in her presence. Aware of seeking how to navigate for the most rewarding path needed to sew the seed needed to continue becoming as well as Being
“A Mom”

Providing what she needs and how to be this Being that silently shines a light upon her unfolding.
Allowing her the freedom to be exactly who she is and discover she is safe in my presence.

For this today I am most Grateful.

Seeking to reach my oldest daughter through positivity and having become an overwhelming flow of pure love.

Thank you for reading. For allowing me to be here!
Namasakram my friends
💕

Reflecting

Self Care
Reflection is not something I seek 
to understand within her full measurements.

“Image is a universal description
of personal depiction.”

Dictatorship with intent to speak to one “Self.”
For instance, Looking at Self in
the mirror greeting Self with kind recognition.

We could, choose to do this…
We could even choose to speak out
loud to ourselves, as we look into the mirror.
Checking in with Self.
Eye to eye asking,
Self;
“How are you Being Today?”

Or more often than not, do we instead, choose to check our appearance?
Which then has lead us to self discrimination with a quick belittling insult claiming,
Ugh, “Having a bad hair day!”
something we're all guilty of.

Disconnected and unaware of most of our personal insults, even as silly as a bad hair day claim may seem, this is personally damaging and Self abuse.

Reflection comes from the deepest depths within us, deeper than the flesh. Reaching down into the roots of all energetic pathways.
“From the Crown, all the way down through the SOULS OF OUR FEET.”

Reflection comes from the cavities
of our past.
The {History}
Our own personal “Hi’Story” 🙋🏽‍♀️
Our lives unearthed, revealed, released, uncaptured, set free.

The image is not always reflection.
And reflection is almost never an Image.
In order to find reflection,
we have to begin with, finding
time, taking notice of our
beautiful details,
and basking in the fountain of our beautiful existence.

Proudly embracing our perfect imperfections. {Something we refer to as flaws}
Consciously investing attention into the privilege of having the ability to, visually capture an in-depth look.
To see.
To view admirably, the many layers
of beauty in the mirror, reflecting.

Greeting ourselves when we wake in the morning. Then again before sleeping each night, allowing Self, time to meet reflection in the mirror, saying Self;
“I care for you enough to understand how to love you.”

Self,
I'm proud of you.
You are brave.
Hugging ourselves with pleasure and gratitude to be able.
Smiling upon ourselves, granting ourselves a restful nights sleep.

All of these beautiful elements
grant us a reflection, we are
allowed to meet again, over and
over everyday.

Never would we schedule a meeting with any other Being, before we have met with, and greeted ourselves FIRST !

-
I was sitting in my hotel room,
thinking about “Being.”
Being Human, and what that means;
To Be Human?
Then I thought, I can’t just,
“Be Human.”
Grow to harness authentic reflection {in the mirror}
Seeing Self.
Asking; “How Am I Being?”
Seeking “TRUTH”,
Mantras Every morning at 6am.
Again in the afternoon 1:11pm.
Upon the closing of the day, into the sleepiness of night,
“I” will check in with “Myself”
by out loud asking;
𝒱𝒶𝓃𝒾𝓈𝒽𝒶, How are you Being?

“UnI has nothing to do with me and you, but everything to do with Us”

Time Frame 🖼


“Perfectly Time Framed”

Time, is perfect utopia.
Spent in perfect, authentic reality.
Time, is spent with Beings who have been chosen by the favor of frequency , to share these privileged gifted, moments in time together.

Moments captured in photographs.
Framed Holliday experiences.
Together, every year.


“Perfectly Time Framed"

©️2020
All Rights Reserved
Bella Uni’Verse
Poet With Verve Publications
ok ok !
ive shared about my rooted connection into Uni. my being a conduit. i receive gifts like the above constantly. every time is so exciting. ill blurt it out in company like no thing... my company says... whoa.. did you hear what you just said!? sometimes, ill be so passionately speaking.. i will have no clue.

the above was a what {friends} our company calls, a “moment captured”

®️ from the mouth 👄
heard for the first time.
celebrating together i say.. whoaoowe pretty neat.

- Mighty Night friends

The Circle ⭕️

The Invitation

The INVITATION

The hope is to shine light on the values that this country has been robbed of, due to government divide.
⭕️
Family roots, structure, tradition, force fields of internal power, generated from the core of a family that forms a structured
fortress of trust.

The preparation of homemade meals together, and for each other.
Eating, with laughter, and conversations around a massive table.

The size of the table, nor the number of “Beings” seated at the table are a factor. It’s the massive amount of joy, care, love, and appreciation that defines size.

It’s here, amongst one another, seated at the table, where empires are built, within a family infrastructure.

Where; Investments are made,
payed in time offerings.
Where indoctrinating our “children begins” before general education in
a public school system, ran by little funding and mind control.

My invitation is to inspire the Americas to branch out and seek,
a more sustainable circle,
when the choice is made to stand
for one another.

The Circle
⭕️

©️2018, 2020
All Rights Reserved
Bella Uni’Verse
Poet With Verve Publications

How Are You “Being?”

To gain understanding is never, not worth stopping time, to capture the moment for; Being conscious and Caring for your “Being.” conscious of who, chooses to design your Days, your Lives!

MIGHTY MORNING !  I am sooooo happy to be here! I have wondered about how those of you who follow have felt about my leaving without notice. I hope we will regain being introduced to the unfolding of beauty, in layers. We have so Much much more to come ! Tell me,

“How are you “BEING” Today?”

UNDERSTANDING beyond KNOWING,  We are Human “Beings
  • “Being Human”
  • “Being” is an action word.
  • “Being” Human is a reminder

We MUST immediately act with intent, to execute the most vital aspect of our “Being” capable of awakening consciousness from, living daily making, preparing, deciding, concluding everything while in a, deeply asleep unconscious sub-state. Missing out on the conscious, aware living, life who is courageous, strong and consistent, attentive, with a productive discipline; With the natural Intuitive state of mind needed to recall to “remain within the truth of conscious living.” While also understanding, without reservations, the need to give as well as receive. Moments Full of surprises to ponder in wonder. Never missed – celebrating  Being” humbly grateful to receive the truth. 

WoW ! “A very long time was lost, unaware of our “BEING” unconscious. Dance to the Rhythm 🎶 of, UNDERSTANDING TRUTH, Singing out – 🎵 Hit Me With Your Best Shot ! I am POSITIVE we ARE enlightenment. Understanding more is never, not worth stopping time, to capture the moment for; “Being,” Conscious, Caring Attention to how we are Being.” conscious of who, chooses to design our Days, our Lives!

A practice of mine that has become ritual to my way of life Waking up before dawn, {everyday} breathes life into my veins. Birthing every brand new day to life, claiming everyday my own. Designing every moment of every day. As Sunshine peeks up from her sleepy slumber, I’m sweetly sun kissed, {how she greets my frequency, frequently} Evoking Her to; RISE to THE OCCASION for LOVE & APPRECIATION. Being a Mutual Connection – “UnI,” and “She and I” and “Her & Us.”

UnI – Has nothing to do with Me & You; and Everything to do Us.

UniVerse : UnI means – to turn away from. Verse means : Towards more worth. UnI –  from upon my ancestral, cracked foundation; is where I root into UnI from the{solessouls of my feet into the masses of ALL POWERFUL. 
We are given The Choice – smaller or BIGGER
LOOK at us Understanding together!.

we are not a smaller version of anything

“We ARE THE BIG PICTURE”

All Power, Totally Protected, so much beyond!
  • “Being” Controlling”
  • “Being” Controllable”
  • “Being” Controlled”
  • “Being” out of Control”
  • “Being” Conscious”

Only you can create yourself a masterpiece”BEING” by Design

The ONLY WAY to Live Life“Being” 𝕎𝕙𝕠 is TRULY in control of your whole spectrum, LIFE BY DESIGNis by “Being” CONSCIOUS

Below I’ve shared a LINK to a 27 min informational. This short program is called – 98% of people live Subconscious. 

George Lakoff’s book and video – 98 % of all of the most important choices, decisions, an actions are done “Unconscious” BELOW

https://youtu.be/HPlIjNXNnF4

©️1975, 2020
All Rights Reserved
Bella Uni’Verse
Poet With Verve Publications
The Daily Gifted Kiss